This was written way back in the middle of winter. I suck at posting old blatherings, but I’ve needed the time. Moving on to the finish of cycle 2 and the results.
Things got a little ugly on day five. Mostly due to the frustration of being cooped up working from home for the second day in a row (thanks to a blizzard), my computer acting up while trying to work, my VPN not working correctly and the fact that I’m fairly certain my HCG shot’s effects were peaking.
Thankfully things have gotten better. I’m on day six of the wait. I’m back at work, things are working fine and I don’t feel irrational rage at everyone I see. Improvement. Yesterday there were tears of frustration… over the sheer un-fairness of the whole situation. Over how hard the IUI procedure itself was. Over the fact that I have to put my body through this hell. Sometimes my patience wears thin and my frustration shines through.
With the new day today though, I’m feeling much better. There’s no anxiety and obsession over if IUI worked or not, like last time. It’s just the hormones that are getting to me. Maybe my body is getting used to the rigor and whole “deal”. Who knows. I’m just glad I had only one day of feeling like going all HULK SMASH on everything opposed to 10 days of it, like I did during the first cycle of IUI last year.
You know the highlight of day five and being stuck at home thanks to the Blizzard of Oz 2014? The fact that I took Milo out for a freezing cold adventure to the park. Wind chills were -17 and holy crap was it windy. But this weather is my jam so I loved it. I did get pretty chilly, but being outside on freezing cold snowy days makes me really, really happy. Same for Milo. Walking off some of the HULK SMASH feelings didn’t hurt either. Sometimes I just have to get away from all of it. Even if it’s -17 degrees outside.
Fast forward a few days to the cramping and tears. IUI no. 2 didn’t work. There was some sadness but I wasn’t surprised, I think I knew that one wasn’t going to be it. It still felt like I was an experiment being poked and prodded while they (the nurses at my clinic) tried to figure out my system. But after a day of sulking I picked myself up, called the clinic and got a move on IUI no. 3!