We knew that after our vacation we would dive back, head first, into fertility treatments. That plan hasn’t changed, a week and a half after we got back it was time to start up with ultrasounds and medications. HAPPY FUN UTERUS AND OVARIES TIME!! So here we are, on medicated IUI no. 2.
I don’t know if it’s that we’ve now been through this one time, the fact that we are in a new year or it it’s just sheer grace…. but this time is different already. I’m still waiting for the anxiousness to arrive, the emotions, the crazy… waiting and waiting. It still hasn’t appeared. Much to our relief. It’s just… peaceful. I’m not worried. I’m not anxious. I’m not obsessing.
Here’s the thing. Whatever has transpired in the past six months, sheesh the past year, it has brought me to this realization. There is absolutely nothing I can do to control this. No matter what I do with my body or mind… I cannot control getting pregnant. I just can’t. I’ve tried for years to no avail. It’s been tough. But maybe I made it harder than it had to be.
All we can do now is take the steps that we feel are best for us and hope. I am not in control of everything. And it is okay. Actually, it feels really freeing. All I need to do is keep my body as healthy and calm as possible and wait.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m taking my ovaries on a nice six mile run. We’ll check back in soon. Because FUN UTERUS AND OVARIES TIME has definitely started.